It's that time of year. The leaves are turning color, the winds getting a bit nippy and everybody's filling their yards up with fake dead bodies! It's Halloween Bros and Broettes!
One time honored tradition of Halloween once you're too old to trick-or-treat and too poor to go to a haunted house (25 bucks to have a sweaty guy in a trench coat and a hockey mask jump out from behind doors at me? No thanks) then you can always watch scary movies. But you've seen the Friday the 13th movies a thousand times and Nightmare on Elm St is on AMC every 4 hours, so what do you watch? Some crazy foreign and underground horror films that's what! And I've compiled a handy list of some of my all time faves with pictures I don't have the copyright too (what's scarier that copyright violation?)
-la Orfanata (2007) - This is a Spanish film which means most people haven't heard of it because American theaters do a terrible job of showing foreign films and the public does a worse job of watching them. This is one that might be for the better. If the public had seen this then there would be a universal fear of old, abandoned orphanages... Oh wait. The film is about a husband and wife who purchase an old orphanage that the wife used to go. They plan on opening it as a home for mentally challenged children, but things go bad when their own kid starts seeing things and then a creepy kid with a bag over his head starts shoving people around. This is a film that ratchets up the tension without ever resorting to gore or jump scares. It's also got a twist at the end that rivals such movies as the Sixth Sense. Just don't watch it alone on your laptop. I nearly threw mine across the room in fear.
-The Thing (1982) - This movie came out the same time as E.T. and couldn't have been more different. It's the story of a group of scientists sent to a remote part of Antarctica to find out what happened to the group before them (hint: they were killed by a "Thing"). The Thing has two things going for it, tension and amazing special effects. The Thing in question can take on the appearance of person on it's own which means that it could be anyone of the characters at any moment so no one can trust anyone. The special effects on this film are the best I've seen in a horror film. They're not amazing computer generated blue-cat people or any crap like that it's just amazing hand made effects pain-stakenly created by men who truly love what they do and it shows. Its a movie that will make you wish filmmakers stopped relying so much on cgi for their monsters these days.
-The Human Centipede (2009) A demented doctor kidnaps people and stitches their mouths to another person's... anus, thus creating a human centidepe. If you didn't throw up just thinking about that then trust me, this movie will make you heave chunks no matter what.
I hope that one of these gory, tense or just outright messed up films is interesting enough for you to Netflix because trust me they are all movies that will stay with you long after you see them. So Happy Halloween and don't get too scared!
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